Facts vs Myths about Affairs.

Hi all, just purchased an ebook called NOT "Just friends". It dispels lots of the facts about affairs and is kind of frightening.

Assumption: Affairs happen in unhappy or unloving marriages.
Fact: Affairs can happen in good marriages. Affairs are less about love and more about sliding across boundaries.

Assumption: Affairs occur mostly because of sexual attraction.
Fact: The lure of an affair is how the unfaithful partner is mirrored back through the adoring eyes of the new love. Another appeal is that individuals experience new roles and opportunities for growth in new relationships.

Assumption: A cheating partner almost always leaves clues, so a na?ve spouse must be burying his or her head in the sand.
Fact: The majority of affairs are never detected. Some individuals can successfully compartmentalize their lives or are such brilliant liars that their partner never finds out.

Assumption: A person having an affair shows less interest in sex at home.
Fact: The excitement of an affair can increase passion at home and make sex even more interesting.

Assumption: The person having an affair isn?t ?getting enough? at home.
Fact: The truth is that the unfaithful partner may not be giving enough. In fact, the spouse who gives too little is at greater risk than the spouse who gives too much because he or she is less invested.

Assumption: A straying partner finds fault with everything you do.
Fact: He or she may in fact become Mr. or Mrs. Wonderful in order to escape detection. Most likely, he or she will be alternately critical and devoted.

Here's some more facts.

You can have an affair without having sex. Sometimes the greatest betrayals happen without touching. Infidelity is any emotional or sexual intimacy that violates trust.

Because child-centered families create conditions that increase the vulnerability for affairs, the children may ultimately be harmed.

People are more likely to cheat if their friends and family members have cheated.
When a woman has an affair, it is more often the result of long-term marital dissatisfaction, and the marriage is harder to repair.

Most people, including unfaithful partners, think that talking about an affair with the betrayed partner will only create more upset, but that is actually the way to rebuild intimacy. Trying to recover without discussing the betrayal is like waxing a dirty floor.

The aftermath of an affair can offer partners who are still committed to their marriage an opportunity to strengthen their bond. Exploring vulnerabilities often leads to a more intimate relationship.

Starting over with a new love does not necessarily lead to a life of eternal bliss. Seventy-five percent of all unfaithful individuals who marry the affair partner end up divorced.

More than 90 percent of married individuals believe that monogamy is important, but almost half of them admit to having had affairs.

Source: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/56687-facts-vs-myths-about-affairs.html

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